http://lurk.co.uk

One of my greatest fears when flying, is that the plane I'm in will land in completely the wrong airport, leaving me stranded. Today, I was too busy reading to look out the window when we landed, so when the plane came to a stop in a different part of the ramp than it usually does, I got a little worried...

Anyway, I'm back in Edinburgh after a whimsical weekend of loud music and duck tape, and now I've got to wake the town and tell the people about what a great time I had. Except I can't. This is Slur Dot Com: it's all about stuff that's slur, not stuff that's class.

Actually, that in itself is pretty slur, as nearly 80% of all blogs are just rants about the stuff that some wanker hates, and I don't want to be another one of those wankers. I'm a totally unique wanker. Yeah? Ok so, that last statistic was something I just made up, but it brings me nicely to the slur thing I saw today: the abuse of statistics to sell cereal.

So, I'm browsing through The Tesco when I see Ian I'll Sell Anything Wright's grinning mug, with the following speech bubble over it:

Regularly eating cereals for breakfast means you're less likely to be overweight.*
*Source: some bunch of wank, probably bankrolled by Kellogg's

Ack! As someone who works a bit with stats, I find that statement both disgusting and fantastic. They don't come right out and say that eating their cereal will make you thin - that would be a lie - but they go as damn close to it as they can. Sure there is a correlation, but I'm sure the lower amounts of mars bars and pie in thin peoples diets also play a significant factor. (Ya fat lurk!)

But wait there's more! I avert my gaze from Ian's pearly whites, and the weasel words they spew and try to focus myself. No luck. The first thing I lay my eyes on is a pack of Rice Crispies with this gem scrawled on it:

Children who eat breakfast every morning tend to do better at school.*
*Source: another fucking study payed for by Kellogg's

Yeah, I'm sure it's the cereal that's doing it. I just wonder if there's any correlation between having negligent parents and not being fed every day?

Hmmm, that last one's a stretch, but at least it's a case of direct causality, not just correlation.

Up yours, Kellogg's,

Slurkid57.